Personal Suffering



Reality is the state of things as they actually exist, rather than as they may appear or might be imagined

It has been said that our suffering comes from the attachment we have to ideals and the complex attitudes we create about the state of things. According to our own highest ideals, we are never quite what we should be –our best selves. Living each day feeling like we are never quite measuring up can be self -defeating and lead to personal suffering. Whether it is our family, our work, where we live, or life general –it seems things are never quite up to par with our ideals. This causes us to become very critical of ourselves, everyone and everything around us. Do some personal inventory. Where did your ideals come from? Were they imposed upon you through religious affliation, societal influences, or did they come from care givers who raised you? How much of what you call ideal for your life was brithed from your own hearts desire? Further, did you embrace what you consider important because you selected it and designed it to fit your unique sense of being?

For example, with religion, “ideals” were put in place and deemed important  by “certain people” during their own personal journey. Some one else  agreed with them and embraced their ideals because during that season of their life it worked for then too. The result is that these people try daily to hit the mark they set. During their striving consequently they end up evaluating and judging themselves and others. What works for one doesn’t necessarily work for everyone else.

How can we keep from rendering daily verdicts on others? Is it neccessry to be judge and jury sometimes? Nevertheless, how can one get from under the yoke of bondage of your personal ideals? I try to begin by asking questions rather than making statements.  Questions I ask are questions like, “why is it like this?”  “why are things this way?” “what do you think?”The questions are good starting points. It is good to ponder over everything of interest to me. Question everything you’d like! Wonder to yourself things like, why do monks shave their heads?  Why does he pray five times a day? Why do many different kinds of people get tattoos? Why are those standards important in that culture? Why do these children in this region behave so differently than the children in that region of the world? Contemplate these things, do not form an opinion about what is good, bad, useful or useless. Keep phrases like “they should” “that’s wrong” or “that’s a sin” far from your mouth. Instead allow your mind to be open and consider what you observe with intentional freedom. Sift through your thoughts until all you see and understand is the reality. Reality is the state of things as they actually exist, rather than as they may appear or might be imagined

My authentic truth:

I am very inquisitive. Rather than making assumptions then assuming my assumptions are right–I ask questions. Questions either asked directly or as I ponder to myself. I always find it interesting though that my questioning to others is regarded as a weakness rather than a strength. The self-righteous and staunchly religious are eager to respond to my questions based on their “ideal standards” clouding the reality.

In my experience I have found people are quick to judge and evaluate the actions of others based solely on their ideal–never knowing the back story or actual reality. Yes I know in part it’s just the way humans naturally behave.On the other hand, its time for many of us to pump the breaks and take a pause for the cause of enlightenment. For me, asking questions is not necessarily to gain information but insight in an effort to abstain from thinking from a delusional mindset. Only then can I remain free from suffering from judgement, self-inflicted disappoint, a false sense of superiority and a unnessary messiah complex. All of the aforementioned leads to personal suffering. Self reflection brings me satisfying enlightenment. Go ahead and free yourself.

Authentic thoughts are thoughts that are genuine and sincerely expressed. Authentic thoughts reverberate with other authentic individuals so they have an irresistible urge to ponder and or respectfully respond from their own unique perspective.

Express your authentic thoughts. Post a comment. I welcome your valued perspective. Thank you in advance.

In love and peace,

Dr. Free.


Author: Dr. Free

Dr. Free is a veteran educator. Her area of expertise is African-centered education consulting. She is a life learner who is passionate about truth, liberation, and justice. Dr. Free strives to be true to herself. She expresses herself in a way that enhances the lives of others and she enjoys giving others the space and encouragment to do the same.

2 thoughts on “Personal Suffering”

  1. “asking questions is not necessarily to gain information but insight in an effort to abstain from thinking from a delusional mindset”. I have this problem I think this statement just solve it all.

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