My Truth

woman in yellow dress

Everybody has a personal truth; a personal truth is what you believe about yourself when nobody’s listening and nobody’s watching.

Dr. Phil

I was excited when I realized one day that I could boldly walk in my own truth. I did not have to conform to the opinions or expectations of others. Though I wrestled my way into this understanding. I fully embraced the freedom I accessed in authentic living. I could make choices for myself that others may or may not have agreed with and it was okay. What I believed and how I defined my life was all within the power of my own choices. For me, that was both empowering and ecstatically liberating. I was finally free to be me and be me on my own terms.

Somewhere along my journey, I eventually recognized that this new found authenticity was both a treasure and a reward that my life had been missing. Unfortunately, it had not been nurtured in my rearing and neither did my rearing culminate with a rite of passage event blessing my transition into adulthood to be authentically me.  Although I came to this place in my life much later than I would have liked to, I have truly learned to enjoy authentic living. I am learning to enjoy authenticity more and more every day. There’s nothing more satisfying than living in a way where you can unapologetically be yourself.  Recently, I have gained even deeper insight about the meaning of walking in my truth as an authentic person. Joe Caruso’s thoughts challenged me and were seminal for the transformation that is happening in my life and relationships. His due season words are helping to skyrocket my authentic walk to the next level and for that I am truly grateful. I’ve loosely cited the gist of a portion his thoughts below.

Joe Caruso explains in his book, The Principles of Authentic Power: Finding Strength, Meaning, and Happiness in an Out-of-Control World,

There is more than one definition of truth when it comes to our human experience. Truth is that which one believes to be true. The world will line up to validate that which one believes to be true. This is due to the psychological factor of congruency. The world has to be congruent with that which we think it is. Our definition of our world is reflecting. In other words, we are in our definitions of the world as much as the world is in our definitions of ourselves. How we see ourselves and our stories, impacts and reflects into how we see ourselves and the world and we are right. Our experience will validate it.

I have understood for quite some time that thoughts become our reality. Further, I also learned that the way a man or woman thinks of himself in their heart is the way that he or she shows up in the world. However, I now understand more clearly the siginfigance of how my thought life links with my authenticity. The congruency Caruso speaks of explained that the world will line up to validate what I believe is true. Powerful.

From this I have learned two lessons that I want to share with you. First, the world will line up to what I believe even when those beliefs and the thoughts that create them do not serve me. For example, if a woman thinks that all men are dogs—guess what kind of men she’s likely to meet. Regardless of the nice guys she happens to meet along the way, she will always see them through the same dog lens. If a second string basketball player thinks he is inept, that he will always be on the bench, and never get time on the court to play—guess where he will always be. He may even begin to unconsciously perform worse to secure his seat on the bench. This one was a biggie for me. Struggle and hard work are just part of living this life especially as a Black woman in America. Although I have attained a certain degree of accomplishment in my life, I seemed to have a habit of taking the road less traveled. My life necessitated and validated struggle due to that thought process at every turn.  

Secondly, everybody thinks they are right because their life provides them undeniable evidence of their belief. With that in mind, we can engage with others more objectively, with awareness, and with a willingness to be more patient, compassionate and understanding. When everyone is walking in their own truth it is not our responsibility to change their narrative but respect it.  At times there may be people that we can share intimately with and those conversations may foster change. Other times, it may not be what we say at all but our influence with our different choices. I have learned that lasting change only comes when a person realizes the need for it themselves.

Being authentic does mean walking in your own truth. However, the bottom line that we must determine is if that truth is for our highest good. If a truth does not serve us it is never too late to make a change.

“Authenticity requires a certain measure of vulnerability, transparency, and integrity.”

Janet Louise Stephenson

Thank you for reading! Post a comment! Authentic thoughts are thoughts that are genuine and sincerely expressed. Authentic thoughts reverberate with other authentic individuals so they have an irresistible urge to ponder and respectfully respond from their own unique perspective.

Published by Dr. Deana Gordon

Dr. Deana Gordon: Authenticity. She presents herself via blog posts, presentations, or in consultations in a way that encourages others to be the best version of themselves. She finds it both a privilege and pleasure to coach others through this life process.

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